i read fic sometimes

I’m a angst whore-masochist type, so there’s not a whole lot of fluff on this list. Way pared down from my old list, and as I’ve entered new fandoms it’s more than just Merlin now haha.

Index: Merlin | Supernatural | Queer as Folk

Merlin

Pretty much all Merthur.

Fandom Classics:

• The Good Times Are Killing Me - NC17, Modern AU. In which the boys pretend to still be together for Christmas (and there is more than one kind of charade). 

Unabashed Porn: (all are NC17)

• Worth the Wait - slow burn and ridiculously satisfying
• YOU CAN’T SNORT ARTHUR IN A CLUB BATHROOM. PEOPLE NOTICE THAT SHIT. - for the prompt “Arthur/Merlin, Merlin is an addict and Arthur is his drug. Could be set during the show or a modern AU.”

Fluff and Crack:

• setting down the lines - PG-13. Future fic. In which Arthur hates stairs, Merlin threatens mutiny and they’re both going to be a bit late for the feast.
• Two wait-are-you-serious fics: The Bookshelf fic and the Radiator fic. And what the hell, have the Jam fic. 

Angst:

• One Half - PG. Future fic. Judy Garland: “If I’m such a legend, then why I am so lonely?”
• World Enough and Time - NC17 Modern AU. Violence, bondage, references to past minor character death, angst, brief mention of bloodplay. Arthur had had it all figured out. And then Merlin shot him in Beijing.
• In Your Fire and In Your Flood - PG-13. Merlin must leave Camelot.
• All The Laughter From Before - R. Major character death and by major character death I mean Merlin dies and it’s horrible. Different sides of the story etc.
• In The Spaces Between - R. Major character death and minor character deaths aplenty (including a stillborn child); violence; the briefest allusion to rape; descriptions of self-harm; suicidal thoughts; angst; unhappily-ever-after. For the prompt: Arthur/Merlin, Merlin dies. Alternatively, Arthur is so stricken with grief that he goes on a mad quest looking for a sorcerer to bring Merlin back to life. When it finally happens, Merlin is horrified because it’s truly impossible to just bring someone back to life like that and he’s fairly certain he’s some kind of half-dead abomination. Arthur doesn’t care. Bonus points: This is how Merlin lives forever waiting for the Once and Future King!
• Auspicious Symbols All - R. Written for the prompt: Arthur/Merlin, without moral compass their love is a dangerous thing; all of Albion is aquiver.
• Just… everything minor_hue has written okay. All of it.

Good Crossovers:

• MMXII - G. The year is 2012, and President Obama welcomes two very unusual guests to the White House. Merlin/Supernatural/Obama administration crossover. Believe me.

Supernatural

Destiel:

• Except Thou Bless Me - NC17. Wangst. Language. Violence. Consensual power exchange. Moderate-core S&M, including light CBT and brief, incidental breath play. References to actual torture; references to past threats of rape. Schmoopy aftercare. In roughly that order. Castiel is wroth, and Dean is having a great time.

Wincest:

• High Wire - R. Underage. Do I need to warn for incest or? Nine-month skid.
• The Elko County Adventure - NC17. Tremors crossover that makes me feel all the feelings.
• Until Crow Knows Your Name - M (NC-17). Old West AU, warnings for graphic violence and major character death. Sam Winchester had grown up riding the range for his father’s band of hunters, his brother Dean at his side. He wakes one morning after a dream of a different life to Dean telling him their father’s gone missing. They give chase to find him, but in the punishing miles and endless trail, it’s Sam that might be lost.
• Can I just cut to the chase and say candle-beck’s masterlist?

Wincestiel is a perfect ship that everyone should ship:

• Safest Place to Hide - NC17. Polyamory/incest (duh?), light bondage, themes of asexuality and sexual boundaries. Sam gets his soul back, but it’s working on overdrive to make up for lost time, and both his own emotions and those of people around him cause him physical pain. With Castiel’s help, Dean takes Sam to an abandoned farmhouse in the-middle-of-nowhere Maine to recuperate.
• Share Each Other Like An Island - NC17. Spoilers for everything up to 6.11. Vague mentions of past Alistair/Dean noncon in Hell (nothing graphic), plenty of swearing, and some porn. NSFW. Also soulmate fic, voicemail fix-it fic, Samulet fix-it fic, and Sam’s soul fix-it fic. (And yet you will cry.) Dean never expected to see his amulet again, much less with Sam’s soul inside. But after a century in Hell, Sam’s soul is broken so badly that Castiel says it’ll take a lifetime to heal, and that’s a lifetime they don’t have, not with Sam’s body still hellbent on killing Bobby. Together, Dean and Castiel set themselves the task of learning the amulet’s complicated history, and just what Sam did on his last night on earth.

Gen/Unconventional Ships:

• Restore From Saved Draft - PG. So that’s how Becky ends up babysitting a fallen angel with a broken arm. It’s probably the weirdest thing that’s ever happened to her and, considering recent events, that’s saying something.
• troubles will come and they will pass - PG. ace!Dean and ace!Deanna self-cuddling.

Queer as Folk

pre-show:

• She Knows - M. The first time she sees Lindsay Peterson, the blonde is in a diner on Liberty Avenue with two dark-haired men. One is playing with her hair and she wonders what a straight couple is doing here. She leaves in a huff because the blonde woman was hot and she hates her immediately. Pre-show through mid-season 5. (perfect fic.)

set during the show, aka how do you continuity cowlip???:

• Set the Fire to the Third Bar - PG-13. An incoherent look at Brian, post-prom. (Between 122-201.)
• Night Moves - R. Early season 2: Brian’s PTSD comes out at night.
• Ecstatic and Insatiate - NC-17. This takes place in 208, immediately after Justin chases Jennifer out of the loft and then begs Brian to tell him what he did with the trick while Justin was away.
• Deviation - NC-17. Justin’s not feeling so well, and Brian panics.
• Sussurus - NC-17. Most of the time, though, the days are just… days. (Between 409-410. Brian can only apologize one way.)
• Visual Aids - R. What if Justin was in the diner when Debbie threatened Loretta’s husband in 504? (perfectly in character and really hits home)

post 513:

• The Plot Ends on a Friday- G. It’s easier for Brian to forget, to pretend the entire thing never happened.
• Buzzed - NC-17. PWP. One drink, one lousy goddamn beer is all it takes, and now he’s ridiculously horny.
• The Sudden Stop - R/NC-17. Once he concedes, if only to himself, that he’s going to get his heart broken, Brian finds it much easier to manage.
• Nothing As Good - NC-17. Warning for major character death. This comes with no description and basically this is the ending I accept as canon and makes me cry etc just look at this line: “He wonders how long he can run on caffeine and sheer will. He guesses forever.”
• Wish Me Away - PG-13. Warning for character death. Justin isn’t quite ready yet, but he’s getting there.
• And I Will Follow - R/NC-17. The world ends on a Tuesday.
• a hundred visions and revisions - PG. Future!fic. A year from today, Brian will finally admit — after a three week “vacation” that was only supposed to last three days — that he’s not planning to go back to Pittsburgh. (one of the only bits of non-angst on this list and it’s still got moments that make me sad)

Will continue to update as I read. The question is, am I proud of this? Or just ashamed?